just a few things

I wrote a 7-page paper in just over 2 hours this morning. I'd call it a record of some sort. Who knows how good it actually is. We peer-reviewed our papers in class. I know for sure that my paper is waaay better than the one I reviewed. It seriously seemed like something a 6th grader would write -- and this is what, a college level course with a pre-req of statistics? insanity. learn to write, peoples!!!


Its noon, straight up. I'm skipping my 2nd class. I was going to work out, but then decided against it. I was going to shower and still haven't. I really need to clean up my room. It's super disorganized. Clothes lying everywhere, assorted papers floating about - getting treacherously close to Konrad's water and dust is piling up on my computers.

Lunch.

Not really super hungry. Probably has to do with the fact that I went to bed pushing 2 and got up at 6:30, which SURPRISINGLY is only half an hour after I set my alarm. Which is still frustrating, but awesome all the same.

I found out a few weeks ago, and am still not sure why it took me so long to contact my sister about it. It was so surprising that I really didn't believe it - didn't want to believe it - didn't want to even think it. I was really confused. But it's true.

Janette has cancer.
I was never super close to her. But she was a dance major at Belhaven. She was just a year above me - she graduated just last May - and I knew who she was and she knew who I was, I saw her several times every day, saw her dance, danced with her, was in classes with her, and went on a very life-changing trip to the Gulf Coast with her during spring term of my freshman year. She was the one that I talked to about going. I didn't know her well, but I knew her well enough to want to spend an entire week with her and other people she knew.

She's this amazing woman of God, a tall and beautiful strong dancer with intense thick golden blond hair. And she was diagnosed with cancer in January. She has to go through chemo which will cause her to lose her hair. Yes, I know that hair is nothing compared to faith and trusting in God and life and living and family - but still. It's the little things. Once the chemo starts up she won't have the energy or the strength to continue dancing - after all that time, energy, expense, love, pain, and effort.

Janette's CaringBridge website

I can't even imagine how hard that has to be.
It's hard for me not to cry thinking about it.

Sometimes I hate myself for being empathetic. It makes me overly emotional about everything. But all the same, I know it's a gift from God and not many people are able to empathize to the intense levels that I find myself more than often.